Language Quiz

Over at The Ridges I have an occasional Quick Quiz on language. I put up a passage I found somewhere, on the Net or TV or in the paper, and ask what's wrong with it. After a while (which varies by number of respondents and how busy my life is at the time) I post the answer.

I thought I'd run them over here, too ... So here's the latest quiz, and also the previous one and its answer, so you'll see what it's all about.

Well, actually I'll think I'll put in the last two, because the last one was so simple.

Here's the new one:

From the Elkhorn Slough National Estuarine Research Reserve site:

So, although the oak moths can periodically wreak havoc on certain trees, oaks and oak moths have been coevolving for a long time and can be viewed as one of the many conspicuous insects of the Reserve

(Tip o' the hat to Language Log (but don't peek till you've answered it!)

And here are the previous ones:

From a lawyer's advertising:

If you or someone you love is suffering from mesothelioma – or has died as a result of it – contact us today for a free evaluation of your case.

There's nothing wrong with this one!

Did you want "are suffering" and "have died"? That would have been right with and, but it's wrong with or , because the conjunction or does not add the two parts together (as and does). Therefore, when either or or its negative version nor is used, and both parts of the subject are singular, the verb is singular. When one part is singular (or is "I") and the other is plural (or is "you"), the verb agrees with whichever part is closer to it. Yes, you finally get to use 'agreement by the nearest'!

So, "you or a loved one is", "you or John is", "you or I am" and "John or you are". Whether the subject comes before or after the verb doesn't matter; the proximity determines the number. (After the verb? Yes, as in questions, where are would be right here: "Are you or someone you love suffering?")

And the one before that:

From a "Whole grain Tiger Power cereal" commercial:

The mother monkey says: "I think his muscles are growing, but protein? It doesn't just grow on trees around here."

This one is somewhat similar to the last quiz, in that it involves negation, which is often syntactically complicated. That one was "has yet to comment"; this one is "doesn't just grow" - and it's complicated by that "just". "Just" is a particle, an adverb-like word that changes the meaning rather drastically (compare with a true adverb such as "quickly"). Particles, like adverbs, modify the word they're next to: "it just grows on trees" means something different than "it grows just on trees" (the former means either that it grows without any effort on anyone's part, or that it only grows on trees and doesn't do anything else there).

Presumably the reverse of momma monkey's statement would be "it just grows on trees around here", meaning that no effort was required to obtain protein for her child, as it was readily to hand, growing on the trees. But she probably wants to say the opposite - that protein can't be readily had because it doesn't grow on the trees - and that's not what she actually says. What she says is that growing on trees around here is only one of the things protein does.

It's that pesky 'not'. And the fact that in English, all lexical verbs (that is, all verbs other than "be" and modals such as "could") are made negative by using an auxillary verb "do" - angels speaking modern English would say "don't fear" instead of "fear not", and we say "I don't know" not "I know not". So, in the statement from the commercial the "not" is negating the whole phrase "just grows on trees", not merely the "grows" part. Or, to put it another way, the "just" is modifying "grows", not "doesn't grow".

What momma monkey ought to be saying is, "Protein? It just doesn't grow on trees around here."

All adverb placement is important, but particle placement is crucially so. Look at these:

1. Just it doesn't grow on trees around here.
   
2. It just doesn't grow on trees around here.
   
3. It doesn't just grow on trees around here.
   
4. It doesn't grow just on trees around here.
   
5. It doesn't grow on just trees around here.
   
6. It doesn't grow on trees just around here.
   
7. It doesn't grow on trees around just here.
   

There's a difference -- and usually a major difference (4 and 5 are close, though not identical) -- in the meanings of these sentences.

When using particles (just, only, even and so on), place them carefully. Know what you mean to say - and say it.