Language Quiz

Here's the new quiz - and always remember, maybe nothing is wrong!

From an article in the local paper:

South Grove is a good investment for taxpayers who live both inside and outside the city of Knoxville.

Here's the previous quiz:

From an entry in Wikipedia:

The Velikovsky/Ackerman catastrophism also reveals many facts still unknown in uniformitarian (academic) circles, concerning the other planets.

Remember: I'm looking for something grammatically wrong, not factually!

The problem here is the comma. Now, we can argue over whether punctuation is really grammar; you can't hear it, after all. But it is important, whatever we call it, and here it does serve a grammatical function.

Commas are often overused. They set off serialized, introductory, and parenthetical items, for the most part. [They're also used with quotes, vocatives (the person being addressed, as in "Elementary, my dear Watson."), and with dates and places.] Here, "concerning the other planets" should not be set off by a comma, as it is not parenthetical - that is, unnecessary - information. Moreover, the comma indicates that it is to be associated with "circles" instead of "facts".

But can you actually write the sentence without the comma?

The Velikovsky/Ackerman catastrophism also reveals many facts still unknown in uniformitarian (academic) circles concerning the other planets.

No, you can't, can you? Although the comma makes it a parenthetical connected with "circles", leaving the comma out makes it a simple and straightforward phrase: circles concerning the other planets. Does that make much sense? No, which is probably why the comma was put in. Unfortunately, the comma didn't solve the problem.

Some rewriting is needed - putting the phrase somewhere else. The writer would need to be careful to make sure that "still unknown" modifies "facts", probably another reason this writer went with the comma as he did. For instance, this doesn't work:

The Velikovsky/Ackerman catastrophism also reveals many facts concerning the other planets still unknown in uniformitarian (academic) circles.

Setting this phrase off with commas, thus marking it as a parenthetical elaboration, works:

The Velikovsky/Ackerman catastrophism also reveals many facts, concerning the other planets, still unknown in uniformitarian (academic) circles, concerning the other planets.

Works, did I say? Okay - it's clear, but it's still ugly. Awkward. What is needed is some heavy-duty rewriting, something like this:

The Velikovsky/Ackerman catastrophism also reveals many facts concerning the other planets, facts which are still unknown in uniformitarian (academic) circles, concerning the other planets.

Or, even better:

The Velikovsky/Ackerman catastrophism also reveals many facts which concern the other planets but are still unknown in uniformitarian (academic) circles.

Comma placement is important - but commas can't do it all.

Remember, previous quizzes (33 so far) can be found here.