"it is our family and friends who suffer"

Ken Baker died last week. If the name's not familiar to you, he was a prominent gay rights activist in Alabama and a fighter for justice for all groups. Over at Yikes!, BAC has posted an essay by Ken's sister Kathy. She says at the beginning:

Ken founded an organization called Equality Begins at Home, which was merged with another LGBT rights group in 2002 to form Equality Alabama. This week brought home to me the importance of that name. Equality does indeed begin at home, and when inequality persists, it is our family and friends who suffer. Everywhere Tony turned during this ordeal, he had to wait for our approval of his decisions. Thank God I could get to the hospital quickly; I had to sign the form that gave permission to release Ken’s body. When we changed our minds about which funeral home to use, I had to get on the phone and say yes before the hospital could make the change. When we made arrangements for Ken’s cremation, my mother had to sign the consent form, even though Tony was “allowed” to sign the contract for payment. Although he consulted us at every turn and knew that we would approve his decisions, he wasn’t permitted to perform the duties of a spouse — the spouse that he was and is in every sense other than legal.

Her essay is an eloquent explanation of why civil marriage equality is needed.