O. M. G.

So I'm working on an assignment and this thing called Mega Snake is on in the background, because Michael Shanks is in it. It's a "Sci-Fi original movie" so I don't have any expectations, let alone high ones, but...

A giant snake attacks a family of some generic Southern (of course) rednecks. (They wanted this to be in Tennessee or North Carolina, since it's Cherokee country, but my god the accents were all over the place, including, improbably for a little town in either of those states, a Jamaican stoner.) Dad yells at Mom and boys to get in the SUV, but of course Mom doesn't have keys, so they end up eaten after the snake eats Dad. Which it does, because instead of getting in the SUV he stands there, yelling at the snake and swiping at it with his spatula. This is a giant snake, mind you, big enough to slurp a man down its mouth pretty quickly. Dad pokes at the snake with what looks like a pool umbrella (I wasn't paying that much attention when Shanks wasn't on the screen) and yells, "This one's for the good old red, white, and blue!"

Do the writers of these things actually think anybody behaves like this? Anybody?

(why I was "watching":)