Things no actual human would say, part ... one million?

So, Mark Trail is hot on the trail of someone who is banding Canada geese with gold bands engraved with Bible verses. (Yeah, it's been a strange ride...)

His old pal, Sgt McQueen (who is "very popular in the community" according to the humorously ethnic French-Canadian Johnny Malotte and who always wears his full-dress uniform), is clearly deeply involved with this ... nefarious activity? I'm not sure what to call it, or why the bander is so afraid of being found out. But things are coming to a head, and in prime Mark Trail fashion, those things are accompanied by people speaking like no actual person has ever spoken.

First, there's this hilarious moment when the good sergeant catches up to our intrepid trio of heroes. Seriously, has any cop ever prefaced an arrest with "Surprise!"?


But even better is today's strip, in which Mark says "You are for some reason trying to keep us from learning who made the goose band!" Yes, I know adverbials can follow auxiliary verbs, but "you are for some reason trying"? Really?

And then the crowning glory, the quintessential Mark Trail question, complete with inappropriate emphasis: "What's this all about?"