The ontological proof that God does not exist...
From a commenter at The Comics Curmudgeon, a masterful takedown of St Anselm's ontological argument. Amusing - and useful if you ever run into someone who still buys it.
1. God is by definition the best of all beings.
2. A being that exists is better than a being that doesn’t exist.
3. Therefore, God, by definition, MUST exist. QED, part one. So far so good, now:
4. Frank with enough money to pay the rent, is better than Frank without enough rent money.
5. A God who created a universe where Frank could pay the rent would be better than a God who did not.
6. Thus, because of (1) above, Frank must be able to pay his rent.
7. Therefore, Socrates is mortal. QED (part two).
(The kicker of course is that Frank cannot.)