"doesn't know if he was named for a knife or a race track"
Sorry, Alex: Bowie, Maryland, is not pronounced /ˈboʊ.i/ (BOH-ee) - like the singer, but rather /ˈbu:i:/ (BOO-ee), like the guy who died at the Alamo.
(The title? Somebody said that about baseball commissioner Bowie Kuhn once, but I'm not finding the quote...)
Oooo, oooo: the mammalian nursery rhyme character suffering from allopecia is Fuzzy Wuzzy!!!